I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
