I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
