remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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