your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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