are you still at the devil's house?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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