My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
