It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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