so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
