I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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