take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
