is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
