all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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