dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Bring me that man meat
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
