it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
