We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
