Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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