Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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