mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
