Need sex. Gaining weight.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
