he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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