A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
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