oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
