so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
