A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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