I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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