i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
