I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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