Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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