I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
