all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
