oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
