i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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