I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
