Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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