yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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