There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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