It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
