dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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