i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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