Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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