I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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