you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
