I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
