A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
