He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
