Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
you had me at cake vodka
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
