I'm drive I can fine osifer
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
