i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
