He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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