He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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