nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
