oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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