Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
