The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
