You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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