You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
