Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
