so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
How does one acquire holy water?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
