Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
