it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
